T-Sql-Tuesday

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Jeff Mlakar and he asks us to write about a project that went horribly wrong. My story isn’t really worthy of the name “death march” but it was a pretty rough project.

The project started sometime in mid-2003. I was working as a web developer (Classic ASP) for an insurance company and they wanted to modernize the underwriting process with a web-based “workflow” application.

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Bert Wagner and he asks us to write about code we’ve written that we would hate to live without.

First off, “hate” is a pretty strong word so let’s go with “code you couldn’t bear to live without”. The first bit of code I couldn’t live without is reviled in some circles. More often it’s misunderstood and lamented, or…well, I’ll just show it to you.

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday from Aaron Bertrand gives us a choice:

• Life beyond the technical in a search for what Drew with the Burdensome Name calls #sqlibrium
• Your own T-SQL bad habits

And I’ve got one, maybe two posts in progress on the first topic. Alas,

ironic that being swamped with work is blocking me from writing my #sqlibrium #TSQL2sday post

• Tweet by me at Mon Feb 12 21:30:53 +0000 2018

Thanks to Eugene Meidinger (blog|twitter) for nudging me in the direction of posting this. Ever since this month’s T-SQL Tuesday was announced, work and non-work has been a complete whirlwind and I have failed miserably at reaching sqlibrium.

It’s time for T-SQL Tuesday and this month’s edition is hosted by Ewald Cress (blog|twitter). It’s non-technical this month because we’re all recovering from PASS Summit. Ewald asks us to:

give a shout-out to people (well-known or otherwise) who have made a meaningful contribution to your life in the world of data.

This post is both difficult and easy. Difficult because there are so many people in the community whom I’ve learned from. But easy because there are a

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Rob Sewell and he’s posed the following question:

What are you going to automate today with PowerShell?

I’m cheating a little bit in that this is something I did a couple weeks ago, but it was immensely helpful. I’d been working on building out a new instance to migrate our test databases onto, but the developers had an urgent need to do some testing in isolation so they “borrowed” that new instance. But we had an additional requirement - the configuration needed to match production as closely as possible, more than our current test instance. Of course, I reached for PowerShell and dbatools.

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Raul Gonzalez and he’s asked everyone to share things we might be a bit embarrassed about:

For this month, I want you peers to write about those important lessons that you learned the hard way, for instance something you did and put your systems down or maybe something you didn’t do and took your systems down. It can be also a bad decision you or someone else took back in the day and you’re still paying for it…

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Brent Ozar and he’s asked everyone to find interesting bug or enhancement requests in Microsoft Connect related to SQL Server.

The Connect item doesn’t have to have anything to do with T-SQL – it could be about the engine, SSRS, R, the installer, whatever. Now, more than ever, Microsoft has started to respond to Connect requests and get ’em fixed not just in upcoming versions of SQL Server, but even in cumulative updates for existing versions.

It’s 2016. So why are we still dealing with T-SQL code and design patterns that were designed 7 versions ago?

In the 15 years I have been using databases professionally, we’re still dealing with:

• Peoples’ names are split into first name, last name and middle initial fields. Ignoring that this falls afoul of several of the myths programmers believe about names, the first name column was defined as CHAR(10) in a standard installation. How many characters are in the name Christopher (hint: I had to take off a shoe to count them all)?
• Other arbitrarily short column sizes which cause problems as the system scales out in usage. For example, an event ID field that’s 8 characters: 2 letters and a 6-digit number which is used as a sequence. Guess what happens when you hit the millionth event in that sequence.
• Processes originally developed as transactions (for good reasons), but not designed in such a way that they scale to today’s demands.
• NOLOCK hints everywhere. It’s even in newly-developed code for this application.
• Cursors used anytime a set of records has to be updated with a small bit of conditional logic built in. A set-based operation with appropriate CASE statements would work much better.

The primary system I deal with on a daily basis was originally developed as a DOS application and several of the above examples are drawn from it. Looking at the core tables and columns, it’s easy to identify those that began life in those early days - they all have 8-character names. Time moved on and the system grew and evolved. DOS to Windows. Windows to the web. But the database, and the practices and patterns used in the database, haven’t come along for the ride.

Wayne Sheffield (blog|twitter) is hosting this month’s T-SQL Tuesday and his topic is Giving Back to the SQL Community. More specifically, he’s asking how each of us is planning on giving something back to the SQL Community in 2015. He offers up a few suggestions, so I’ll start by addressing those and then move on to additional ideas.

• Are you going to start speaking at your local user group? Yes, I expect that by the end of 2015 I will have spoken to our local chapter at least once. I spoke to various groups at work in 2014 and plan to continue doing so in 2015 as well.
• Perhaps step up and help run your local user group? I was named the Vice President of our local chapter a couple months ago, and I will continue in that capacity.
• Do you want to start becoming an active blogger – or increase your blogging? Yes! At the time of this writing I’ve only published 7 posts here, and I have 6 others in various stages of preparation. I have some ideas brewing, I just need to get things written and then actually press that Publish button. Part of it is fear/insecurity, and I need to get out of my comfort zone a little and Just Do It.
• Do you plan on volunteering your time with larger organizations (such as PASS), so that SQL Training can occur at a larger level? If I have the opportunity to attend PASS Summit in 2015, I will volunteer at the event. When the call for pre-event volunteers go out, I’ll look at what’s needed and try to step a little out of my comfort zone & do something there as well.
• Other ways of contributing
  • For the 3rd year, I will be helping to organize and run SQL Saturday Rochester in 2015. If you’re reading this, you probably know about SQL Saturday, and have probably even been to one. Next time, bring a friend!
  • I’ve been promoting PASS and our local chapter for a while at work and will be a more vocal in 2015. There are a lot of people with knowledge and experience they can share who aren’t even aware that PASS and the local and virtual user groups exist. I want to help bring those people into the community.

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday topic is passwords. I’m neither a DBA nor server/system admin, so the only passwords I get to manage are my own. But there’s still lots to talk about. Passwords (or rather, weak passwords) have been in the news a lotover the past two weeks, so it’s timely.

This is the password story I’d like to tell my kids, but they’re too young to understand yet.